And me being in the dumps over this is really silly, but..... my birthday is on Thursday, and for the past 20+ years we have celebrated my dad's bday (which was yesterday), mine & Ray's all together with my family one day during the week or our birthdays. It's not a big "party", but we do get together & have a meal & all spend time together. This year, no one has mentioned a thing about it. Not a word. I spoke to my sister on Sunday & said "well, guess we're not doing anything this year" & all she said was "I guess not". I know, I sound silly don't I? I agree with you, but it does make me sad as it seems our family is not as close as it used to be. I'd be willing to bet you that my brother doesn't even call to wish me a happy birthday. I guess it's time for me to grow up & stop wishing that a birthday was in some way "special" from any other day. :-(
And to make it so much brighter, Ray has asked me over & over what I want for my birthday & I keep telling him a "surprise". He doesn't like that answer, he wants me to tell him something specific. We've been married for 20 years, and we were together for over 2+ years before that. He KNOWS me well enough to know what I like. What's so darn hard about going to a store & just buying something or sitting down at the computer to order it? Guess what he's getting for his birthday next week? The same thing as me..... whatever he wants to go out & buy, which will be nothing! lol That's okay though, we will be together & that's enough of a gift for me. He's my best friend & I love him dearly. I don't need a gift other than that!
I know, I told you it was all silly, but it's how I feel. As I said, it's time for me to grow up & quit thinking about "birthdays" & be thankful for all the blessings in my life. I am truly blessed and I'm happy about that.... and that should be enough!
Maybe I need to just go stitch for awhile....
Edited to add -- This is not about gifts! It's about family & special times/memories! I wanted to clarify that so no one gets the wrong impression here!
11 comments:
Amy,
My dear friend,
I go through the same thing with my husband, also named Ray, together for over 17 years.
Anything that I want...ever, for a holiday, b day or any old day or a snack, out to eat, or an outing, well I have to plan it and make all of the arrangements. I always choose all of my own gifts for every holiday, and lately actually I start getting them earlier and earlier than the actual holiday. Sometimes it makes me sad and I wish he would surprise me but truthfully, I think if he tried, he would end up getting me something totally useless and not very enjoyable. I told him I didn't want anything for this last Valentines Day because of this reason, and he didn't get me anything. I said just make me a card. Well, to my surprise, he did! And it had the sweetest sentiment in it and it truly was worth something, mostly because this is the most I know I can expect. I guess deep down, I was still a little sad, but I have had enough years that I have had candy or some type of gifts for holidays that it is all just really old now. I have accepted this reality and I truly try to enjoy myself when I go out (or order) whatever gifts I am getting for myself. I hope you have a wonderful B-day.
Amy,
I'm so sorry you are sad. That is too bad about your family. I'm so sorry. My husband is the same way. He would always ask and never surprise me. I finally made up a wish list on Amazon. And he did surprise me with something from there. I never expected he would get me what he did (a camera). Birthdays always seem to be a let down for me. I always think I should be treated special or different, but it's usually just another day. I'm sorry again!! Please take care! And Happy Belated Birthday!!
Awww...buddy....I'm so sorry. I know it's about your family and not the gifts...so no worries about that...wish I would have stitched harder tho' to get the thing out faster that I'm doing for you! Hang in there Birthdays in general are a let down...because they are never as special as what they were as a child. Take care :) and BIG HUGS!
Do something special for yourself, book in for a massage or a facial, or just do some stitching, maybe a new start. Take care. {{{HUGS}}}
You know, it's rarely about the gifts themselves, it's about the thought put into them. We all want to feel worthy of another person expending some effort to please us, and it's a let down when it doesn't happen. That's not being selfish or materialistic at all on your part. We girls like to be taken care of too!!!
I agree with Aussie Stitcher - the next best thing is to do something nice for yourself.
Amy I think I know how you feel. I took the week off for my cousin's birthday to spend with her and told her about since last year and then again a few weeks before her bday. Ever since I've been working I've taken the week off for her. Well this year she has decided to spend it with my other cousins on a day that I work. I feel as though I shouldn't be upset...it's her birthday, but I am. I don't even think I'm upset, I'm just hurt...I feel that if someone took the time off to spend it with me for my birthday I would try to hang out with them or something you know?? And I know it's not the gifts, on my birthday I just want my family around me to spend some time with too!
((((( Amy )))))) .. it's never about the physical gift .. it's about the thought process and caring that goes into it. I think we all understand that.
I don't know what makes families move apart and then back together .. I know you've always been close with your family .. maybe this is just an off year??
Maybe your family are planning a surprise for you? I hope so.
I always chose my own presents and often have to shop for them too! But I do get flowers and cds for no reason at all so I can't complain.
I hope you have a nice birthday despite feeling down in the dumps. Go to your LNS or online and buy something for yourself - you deserve it!
I'm still holding out for a surprise surprise from Ray. :)
Have the happiest of bdays tomorrow, my friend!
Amy. this year I turned 50, and I felt the same way that you are feeling. It wasn't about the gifts, it was about making the day a bit more special...mine did turn out to be special and I was with my husband and kids,but for me it was not having my mom and dad around anymore...I miss that. Larry's family did not even call on my Birthday. :( So, I do know how you are feeling, but I am sure your day will be great.
Marion
Wow Amy - birthdays are always so special in my family, but I am thinking me, DH and kids. My extended family, on both sides stopped doing gifts so long ago but just lately, a bunch of flowers is starting to be the thought, which is nice.
In our home we always try and make the day a special day for our kids, where do you want to go for dinner etc but my DH and I do it too AND it is the birthday person who chooses the restaurant, perhaps you and Ray could try that as it is nice to be in control of what happens on 'your' day, especially as we get older and the day loses some of its significance to others. {{{{{{Amy}}}}}}
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